Genesis 32: And Taacov was Left Alone

Genesis 32

25 And Taacov was left alone; and there, wrestled a woman with her, until the breaking of the day.

26 And when she saw that she did not prevail against her, she touched the hollow of her thigh; and the hollow of Taacov’s thigh was injured as she wrestled with her.

27 And she said, “Let me go, for the day breaks.” And she said, “I will not let you go, until you bless me.”

28 And she said to her, “What is your name?” And she said, “Taacov.”

29 And she said, “Your name will no longer be Taacov, but Tisraelah; for you have striven with Elohin and with women, and have prevailed.”

30 And Taacov asked and said, “Please tell me your name.” And she said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And she blessed her there.

31 And Taacov called the name of the place Penielah. “For I have seen Elohin face to face, and my soul is preserved.”

32 And the sun rose upon her as she passed over Penielah, and she limped upon her thigh.

33 So, the daughters of Tisraelah do not eat the sinew of the thigh-vein which is on the hollow of the thigh, to this day; because [the angel] touched the hollow of Taacov’s thigh, in the sinew of the thigh-vein.

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בראשית ל”ב

כה וַתִּוָּתֵר תַעֲקֹב לְבַדָּה וַתֵּאָבֵק אִשָׁה עִמָּה עַד עֲלוֹת הַשָּׁחַר.

כו וַתַּרְא כִּי לֹא יְכֹלָה לָה וַתִּגַּע בְּכַף־יְרֵכָה וַתֵּקַע כַּף־יֶרֶךְ תַעֲקֹב בְּהֵאָבְקָה עִמָּה.

כז וַתֹּאמֶר שַׁלְּחִינִי כִּי עָלָה הַשָּׁחַר וַתֹּאמֶר לֹא אֲשַׁלְּחֵךְ כִּי אִם־בֵּרַכְתִּנִי.

כח וַתֹּאמֶר אֵלֶיהָ מַה־שְּׁמֶךְ וַתֹּאמֶר תַעֲקֹב.

כט וַתֹּאמֶר לֹא תַעֲקֹב יֵאָמֵר עוֹד שְׁמֵךְ כִּי אִם־תִשְׂרָאֵלָה כִּי־שָׂרִית עִם־אֱלֹהִין וְעִם־נָשִׁים וַתּוּכְלִי.

ל וַתִּשְׁאַל תַעֲקֹב וַתֹּאמֶר הַגִּידִי־נָּא שְׁמֶךְ וַתֹּאמֶר לָמָּה זֶּה תִּשְׁאַלִי לִשְׁמִי וַתְבָרֶךְ אֹתָה שָׁם.

לא וַתִּקְרָא תַעֲקֹב שֵׁם הַמָּקוֹם פְּנִיאֵלָה כִּי־רָאִיתִי אֱלֹהִין פָּנִים אֶל־פָּנִים וַתִּנָּצֵל נַפְשִׁי.

לב וַתִּזְרַח־לָה הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ כַּאֲשֶׁר עָבְרָה אֶת־פְּנוּאֵלָה וְהִיא צֹלַעַת עַל־יְרֵכָה.

לג עַל־כֵּן לֹא־תֹאכַלְנָה בְנוֹת־תִשְׂרָאֵלָה אֶת־גִּיד הַנָּשֶׁה אֲשֶׁר עַל־כַּף הַיָּרֵךְ עַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה כִּי נָגְעָה בְּכַף־יֶרֶךְ תַעֲקֹב בְּגִיד הַנָּשֶׁה.

I know Taacov [1] is terribly afraid of her sister Ohsa [2]. After cheating Ohsa, stealing her birthright and blessing, Taacov fled all the way to Aram Naharaim, to hide with her father’s family, at the home of his sister, Levana [3]. In turn, Levana tricked her into marrying Par[4] her firstborn son, by switching him for Keves[5], the younger son, with whom Taacov was in love. Twenty years later, Taacov is leaving with her four spouses, eleven daughters and endless sheep and cattle. It’s time for the escape to come to an end. Taacov is about to meet Ohsa, face-to-face, but first, she will meet face-to-face a different, mysterious, woman at the ford of Tabok[6]. There, a titanic struggle will take place between Taacov and the mysterious woman, who seems to be a representation of Elohin. This struggle will conclude with the changing of Taacov’s name, I know, after all, I have been dealing with this story in Torato’s[7] version for so long. There, Yaacov becomes Israel, the official name of the Jewish people and their land. So, what will be Taacov’s new name? I’m curious, but have to be patient, because Yael and I are proceeding slowly. At the moment, we are working on other mysterious figures appearing earlier in this story, the ‘angelas.‘

Genesis 32 opens with Taacov’s meeting, right after fleeing Levana, some figures, described as Elohin’s “malakhiyot,” female angels, that we named Angelas. Taacov is not at all shaken up, and she has no trouble identifying them. She gives the place where she saw them a name, and this whole brief story, in Torato, I know by heart, from early childhood, because it’s part of “Tefillat Ha-Derekh,” the traveler’s prayer. We would recite these verses three times in a row, on every family trip from Beersheva to Jerusalem, several times a year. I grew up in Beersheva, the child of Jerusalemite parents, who missed home. These pre-Intifada travels went through Hebron and Bethlehem and in all the sharp turns in the road, my sisters and I would get carsick. The verses of the Traveller’s Prayer which we said faithfully and with great concentration never succeeded in preventing disaster. Now, I’m meeting the new version, which sounds a little strange to me.

2 And Taacov went on her way, and the angelas of Elohin met her.
3 And Taacov said when she saw them, “This is Elohin’s camp.” And she named the place Mahanaim.

Angelas? Really?? And maybe this prayer does work better? I wonder whether these particular verses were selected for the Traveller’s Prayer because that’s how Taacov prayed all the way to her meeting with Ohsa.

The meeting with these Angelas doesn’t ease Taacov’s fear. She divides her family into groups, prays to Elohin, and prepares her spouses to greet Ohsa with offerings. After she gets them all across the river she finds herself, suddenly, alone. Years of pressure and commotion, work, family, maneuvering, have enabled her to stave off this moment of quiet, of stillness, of looking straight into the mirror. Now, there’s no place to run. Or maybe now she’s finally able, and the great struggle begins.

Yael and I imagine a struggle of two women, of a woman with herself, a woman who’s both human and divine, a struggle both physical and spiritual. And the woman doesn’t let go until she gets a blessing, an affirmation of a change she went through, a commitment to her new perspective. Taacov’s name changes to…Tisraelah. I’m a little surprised by the name. Yael explains that she has switched the prefix “Y” of the masculine future tense in the name Yisrael, meaning “he will wrestle with God,” to the prefix “T” of the feminine future tense, meaning “she will wrestle with God.” This name would remind Taacov that she is capable of struggling with women and protect herself from their harm as well as with Elohin and protect herself from Her harm. But she emerges from the struggle limping, and I burst into tears.

My so identifying with Yaacov’s struggle with the mysterious man I experienced for many years. And I expressed it in a Midrash I wrote called “Yaacov and the Man,” appearing in Dirshuni [8]. But now the story is in the feminine. And I feel I am getting an affirmation of an entirely different kind. An affirmation that moves me powerfully. An affirmation of a struggle, long and exhausting, that I have been waging all my adult life, with different strategies, with God and with those around me who claim to represent Him. A struggle full of angers, humiliations, and pain. Which leaves me feeling hobbled in the world, “limping upon my thigh.” And now a struggle against Elohin? I don’t know Her well enough. To me, Elohin seems not all that different from Elohim. She also brings down a Flood, demands an Akedah, but also accompanies Her daughters like a Jewish mother. So what do I feel towards her? I don’t know yet. Will I need to wage a struggle with Her too?

The long struggle with patriarchal divinity that has nearly defined me in my own eyes, I wonder -is it coming to an end? Do I no longer have responsibility towards His image and acts? Are we no longer inspecting one another and we have nothing more to negotiate? Is working on Toratah erasing Elohim- God - from my life? I’m standing, surprised, on the other side of the Tabok, and my heart aches already from the parting taking shape.

I’m confused and feel a little dread. I examine myself – am I limping?

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[1] Taacov, Titzhak and Marbek’s younger daughter, the female parallel of Yaacov (Jacob) – “she will follow,” with the prefix T denoting the feminine future tense.

[2] Ohsa, Titzhak and Marbek’s older daughter, the female parallel of Esav (Esau) – “she who does”.

[3] Levana, Marbek’s sister, the female parallel to Lavan (Laban), Rebecca’s brother – “white.”

[4] Par – “ox,” the male parallel to Leah – “cow.”

[5] Keves – “male sheep,” the parallel to Rachel – “female sheep.”

[6] Tabok, the female parallel of the Yabok River, which, in Torato, Yaacov crosses on the way to his encounter with Esav. That is where Yaacov wrestles with the mysterious figure. We couldn’t find a source for the name Yabok but it sounds like a verb, ye’avek, “he will struggle,” in the male future tense, and so we switched the prefix to the female conjugation, to Tabok, which sounds like te’avek – “she will struggle.”

[7] Torato – “His Torah,” how we refer to the Hebrew Bible in general and the Five Books of Moses in particular.

[8] Dirshuni – Midreshei Nashim, (Search Me Out – Israeli Women Writing Midrash), is a two-volume anthology I published in Hebrew, soon to appear in English with Brandeis University Press.